August 9, 2009

In The Sequel, They Have To Rescue Barbie

Though it is possible it could have been even more magnificent with a bit of attention paid to the script and special effects, the new G.I. Joe movie definitely achieved an acceptable level of magnificence. Dennis Quaid's ham-fisted performance notwithstanding--I found myself googling "Dennis Quaid recent stroke victim" to find out what was wrong with him--the Joe movie far exceeded even my prodigal expectations.

You have Zartan, played by the Mummy. You have Destro. You have the Baroness, and Scarlett and Heavy Duty. Best of all, you have Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, battling it out every time they lay eyes on one another, starting at age 10. Despite all the grumbling from critics (seriously, what were you expecting? The characters are based on a line of Hasbro action figures?) what you really have is a $170 million child's fantasy translated to the big screen. I mean, isn't this exactly what we were imagining when we were playing with our G.I. Joe's as kids.

In fact, the only real disappointment for me was the one part of the movie I expected to be infallible. Cobra Commander, played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, should have been the highlight. Instead, from the big reveal on his mask at the end (how could you mess this up?) to his lackluster, under the top acting, the ultimate megalomaniac came off as little more than a petty thug. Dr. Horrible makes a better super villain.

Here's hoping in the sequel, they ramp up the awesome with Cobra Commander. Or better yet, how about a prequel with nothing but Snake Eyes vs. Storm Shadow. With a cameo from Shipwreck thrown in.

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