September 3, 2009

We Love The Ordinals

We are irate with Wired Magazine right now. Normally one of our favorite magazines, they have failed miserably when it comes to to their list of the greatest science fiction movies of all time.

They have a comprehensive list of movies, but its lack of ordinals means that we have no actual context.

Imagine you are sitting around with friends, and the following conversation occurs:

"I'm in the mood for some science fiction."

"Sounds good. What should we watch."

"Nothing too awesome. But it needs to be mildly fantastic."

"I agree. How about the 8th greatest science fiction movie of all time."

Simple right? Except how are you supposed to know what the 8th greatest science fiction movie of all time is if magazines like Wired fail to inform you.

I have been forced to interrupt my list of the best webcomics in order to quickly rectify the situation. What follows are the 14 Greatest Science Fiction Movies In The Known Multiverse:

#14 The Road Warrior











With The Road Warrior at #14, we don't have to wait to use the word dystopian.

#13 The Iron Giant









All of you who failed to see this in the theater, shame on you. It's because of poor choices like this that we end up with Transformers II and G-Force 3-D (Just wait).

#12 Back To The Future













Does for time traveling what The Time Traveler's Wife does for the spouses of time travelers.

#11 Aliens











Can anyone think of a better sequel in which a new director entered, transformed it according to his own personal vision, and then left the franchise to make the highest grossing movie of all time?

#10 2001: A Space Odyssey










The original was better, but Kubrick gets extra points for spawning the Macintosh commercial.

#9 Terminator











Featuring the first, and most certainly the best, of the Governator's one-liners.

#8 E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial













I especially appreciate that Spielburg took the time to explain the title, in the title.

#7 Terminator 2











Some people like the original better. They are wrong.

#6 Blade Runner









I always found the most frightening part of Blade Runner the giant advertisements overlooking the city like the corporate eyes of Sauron. How sad that it would also be the most prescient.

#5 Alien









A Hitchcock homage set in outer space.

#4 The Matrix









For about a 6 week period, Keanu Reeves was actually considered cool.

#3 Return Of The Jedi














Just because the prequels sucked doesn't mean the originals did too.

#2 Star Wars















It forever changed not only the genre of science fiction, but the entire movie industry. And like a true first love, we had our collective hearts broken in 1999.

#1 The Empire Strikes Back













Not just the greatest science fiction film, but the most fantabulous 124 minutes ever committed to celluloid.

Lyric Of The Day:

I look out of my window at night
I see the stars and I'm filled with fright
I got a feeling someone's looking
It ain't the aliens at the foot of my bed
It's more the ale inside my head
I got a feeling something's cooking

Science friction burns my fingers
Electricity still lingers
Hey put away that ray, how do you martians say
I love you

I read my comics from front to back
I'll be ready for any attack
I got a feeling someone's looking

"Science Friction"
-XTC

4 comments:

Reed said...

Nice list, thanks for improving upon the Wired one!

Anonymous said...

Star Wars does not compare with the Chronicles of Riddick. Extra points for being an original? Please. You can join the rest of us in the 21st century any time now.

Anonymous said...

Clearly you haven't seen District 9 yet.

A Clark Randt III Production said...

No, I haven't seen District 9 yet. It would have to be really fantastic to bump something off this list though.