There Is Still Time For You To Celebrate International Mustache Month

There Is Still Time For You To Celebrate International Mustache Month

The mustache was invented more than 2500 years ago, by Peisistratos of Athens. As chronicled in The Histories of Herodotus, the original tyrant of the Greek polis carved the first mustache because he thought it made him look more execrable, and helped him accrue power. He fashioned it using a bronze blade*.

The American President also has a long tradition of imposing facial hair. What follows are the eight greatest examples of manifest destiny the new world has ever produced:

	#8 Grover Cleveland Cleveland was the leader of the Bourbon Democrats. This mustache makes it obvious why. The city of Cleveland is in fact named after his bourbon ’stache.
	#7 Andrew Jackson Old Hickory reminds us that eye brows count as facial hair too. They look thick enough to erase chalk boards. Awesome.
	#6 Grover Cleveland After failing in his reelection campaign in 1888, Grover Cleveland returned to private life determined to grow an even more daunting mustache. His reelection in 1892 proved his mission was a success, and made him the only president to be counted twice.
	#5 Rutherford B. Hayes Remember Captain Caveman? I am fairly certain Hanna-Barbara got the character design from this portrait. Hayes actually retired in 1879, but his beard carried out the rest of his term.
	#4 William Taft Taft’s Mustache, measuring 8 inches across, was the last facial hair to hold presidential office. It was known to have beaten Teddy Roosevelt’s ’stache in a wrestling match.
	#3 Chester A. Arthur Much like Sisyphus, Arthur’s mustache and sideburns are forever striving to touch, but always falling just short.
	#2 Abraham Lincoln The only member of the Illinois Amish ever elected to federal office, Lincoln sacrificed his mustache in order to unite the country after the American Civil War.
	#1 Martin Van Buren Little known fact: Shortly before his death, Van Buren played the cowardly lion on Broadway.
	One can only hope that Obama realizes the majestic might of a properly grown mustache and return America to its rightful place as the most awesome nation of mustache growers this side of Russia.

*This is in fact patently untrue on a number of different levels.

Voice Of The Small Town

There's a culture war taking place in America. Obama's election exemplified the two sides. I am not talking about black versus white, or the majority against the various minorities and immigrants that populate our country. In the war I am talking about, you have on one side the liberal, the urbane, the well educated. On the other, you have the conservative, the religious and rural, the working class. If you are the former, and in your 20's or 30's, you probably listen to bands like Radiohead and Beck. You listen to Johnny Cash not because he was a great, prolific country star since the 60's, but because he did a chilling version of a Nine Inch Nails song. You do not listen to John Mellencamp, Cougar in his name or otherwise.

You should.

In an unfortunate, though predictable, apotheosis to his remarkably enduring career, Mellencamp will probably be best remembered as the guy singing in that Chevy commercial. A great piece of advertising for Chevy trucks, but an unflattering testimonial for someone that should be remembered not only as one of our generation's greatest songwriters, but also as a cultural pioneer. There is a lot more to John Mellancamp, both lyrically and politically, than "Little Pink Houses."

Mellencamp is most familiar for his heartland rock anthems, songs like "Jack and Diane," "Authority Song," and "Hurts So Good." His smalltown roots--he was born in Seymour, Indiana--and his celebration of lives lived on farms, next to churches, and outside the Tastee Freeze mark him as something of a hick. Many consider him a primary listening choice for white trash, perhaps at best a poor man's Bruce Springstein.

To argue differently, to point out that he is an accomplished singer songwriter in the tradition of Bob Dylan, Woody Guthrie, and Willie Nelson, to proffer the numerous examples of his later work that eschew commercial hits for a more personal and experimental sound, or to suggest the simple act of surviving the musical graveyard that was the 80's marks him as having at least some measure of worth may all be besides the point. Appreciating music is obviously a personal experience. We like what we like.

But whether or not you like his music, Mellencamp should be celebrated for more than just his songs. Because of the success of "Our Country", and his association with rural America, because of his celebration of the working class, and the rural farmer, it would be easy to dismiss Mellencamp in the same class as, say, Lynard Skynard or Def Leppard. There are some very significant reasons why he should not be.

First, his 1987 music video for Cherry Bomb, off the album "The Lonesome Jubilee," was the first music video to feature an interracial couple on screen together.* Since then, Mellencamp's videos have regularly been an interracial affair, and despite facing criticism from his record company and receiving hate mail and death threats, he has persevered in his commitment to addressing racial issues.

In another vein, ever since the 1985 album "Scarecrow," Mellencamp has been a vocal advocate for the family farmer. Along with Neil Young and Willie Nelson, Mellencamp is a founding member of the FarmAid series of concerts, an annual event to raise money and awareness for small family farms across the country. To date, the organization has raised over 33 million dollars for the cause.

Growing up in Indiana, albeit the somewhat metropolitan Indianapolis, I was predisposed to being a John Mellencamp fan. While attending a tiny college in the South of the state, I went to school with a number of classmates from small towns. My freshman year roommate was from Paris, Indiana, and a huge Mellencamp fan. One of my fraternity brothers was from Seymour, and would have fit perfectly in one of his songs, a fun loving drinker that was more liable to wind up in a bar fight than actually graduating. One of my best friends grew up on a pig farm in Newcastle.

It might seem like my college experience was unrefined, that it was overly colloquial, but I view it differently. It was one of my first opportunities to really experience a different reality, to be immersed in an environment with people from disparate backgrounds and world views. Its a perspective of which I think many urbanites have little practical understanding.

Listening to John Mellencamp reminds me that it is never wise to fall prey to stereotypes, that America, that our whole world in fact, brings together a myriad of viewpoints and experiences. We should celebrate life at its best and most beautiful, and at its worst. Life can be hard and cruel and unfair, but we soldier on the best we can because we are human.

And sometimes its okay to like a song even if it is in a car commercial.

*I am not one hundred percent that it was the first, but I have a strong recollection of that being the case when "Cherry Bomb" came out. I tried to find confirmation online, but could find no information either way

Lyric Of The Day:

Bobby Doll and Big Jim Picato
Call me up every single day
They don't work and they don't want to
Come on down to some damn cafe

Bobby Doll tells me
Live in the moment
Don't get too far ahead-
Don't live in the past
I blink my eyes
And the moment is over
I guess another day
Has passed

But it's just another day
It's just another day
Watching girls on the street
Well, that alright with me
But it's just another day

Bobby Doll and Big Jim Picato
Always there with their free advice
They've got pearl handled pistols
Under their vests
They want me to go out drinking
With them tonight

"Just Another Day"
-John Mellencamp

Only Sixteen Percent

The election of Barack Obama was indeed historic, and means a lot to Americans and the World in terms equality of the races. But had Clinton been elected, having a female president-elect would have been just as historic, if not more so.

The NY Times just highlighted this editorial from 1992 about Hillary Clinton as the new first lady. The most striking aspect of the article to me is how little has changed in the past 16 years.

Some quick facts: Women hold 87, or 16.3%, of the 535 seats in the 110th US Congress — 16, or 16.0%, of the 100 seats in the Senate and 71, or 16.3%, of the 435 seats in the House of Representatives. This under representation of women in elected offices is shocking, especially considering how little attention is paid to the discrepancy by the media. In a fair and equal society, our elected officials would be fifty percent women.

Women did not gain the right to vote in the United States until 1920. African Americans gained the right to vote in 1870. Will we have to wait another fifty years before we have a female president of the United States?

Obamania

I am glad that Obama will be president. In terms of civil rights, and what it means for minorities not only in America, but throughout the world, his election provides a powerful signal we are moving closer to equality.

In terms of politics, there is only one issue which substantially stands out for me. Obama came out strongly against the invasion of Iraq from the very beginning. I respect that. But that stance alone would not have been enough for me to vote for him. One other policy proposal I have heard from him that appeals to me is his proposal to help provide scholarships for anyone who does public service, whether in the Peace Corps, the Military, etc.

Overall, although Obama is closer to what I stand for than McCain, I do not really think that he is any closer to representing me than Clinton was. I think he will continue the same types of economic policies that we had in the nineties. I think he will support giving more power to big business. I think more money will be funnelled to environmental and energy causes, but it will still be done by government subsidies that favor the powerful.

What I am really curious about is what all the fuss has been about. Why is everyone so crazy for Obama? Is it just because of race? That part I can certainly understand. But I think beyond the issue of race, the real factor here is not so much Obama, but just how terrible Bush was as a president. He alienated so many people that now everyone has latched onto Obama as someone who will really bring changes to Washington. In terms of Iraq, and our international standing, these changes will be obvious. But any Democrat would have brought the same kinds of change. So what other changes will Obama bring? He certainly has not made that clear yet, and people seem to be following him with a kind of blind hope that his election really will mean a new America.

I do not see it. I think people will find that a lot less change will occur than they were hoping for. Obama is a Democrat, and as long as America embraces this two party system, our government will be controlled by a cabal of big business and special interests, with a slight drift from right to left depending on which party is in power. The erosion of our individual rights will continue, and more power and wealth will congregate in fewer hands.

I really think the people who just voted for Obama should take a serious look at the Green party or another third party that might be more aligned with their personal outlook. This country needs more plurality in its political system. Badly.